A rant / A reflection

Starving

I think I know what the real deal is with a borderline….or at least I know what the deal is with this borderline…

Love.

We want to be loved.  And we don’t just want it.  We are starving for it; yearning for it; begging and pleading for it.

hungry_childrenWe are starving for it in a way that should make our inner selves look like one of those starving children in Africa.

Scrawny, protruding bones….deprived for far too long…

It doesn’t mean we were never loved in our lives…but, perhaps it always seemed that we had to earn it.  Our being loved was dependent upon some act we were to perform – sex, cleanliness, high grades, whatever.  Some act that we didn’t ever seem to perform up to the standards that were required.

And then we turn into borderlines, who have, after many, many failed attempts, never quite seemed to earn the love we so desperately want and need.

And then someone comes along who appears to be offering it freely…and we grab it.

Grab it like that starving child would grab a piece of food that was lying in the street.

We grab it with both hands in a clutch that turns our knuckles white.

Why do we grab it like that?

It’s not because of how much we crave it, or how much we’re starving for it.

But because we want to hold it for the second it will be ours.

Because we know it won’t last.

We know we don’t get to keep it.

We know it will get fed up and leave.

That is why we overstay our welcomes.  Why we pester you with text messages, phone calls and emails.

Let’s pretend it’s ours for the moment, shall we?

And then we go back to starving.

Until the next one comes along…

But my question is this: is there such a rare individual who is willing to stay with someone who constantly expects them to leave?

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One thought on “Starving

  1. Pingback: Starving | For What It's Worth

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