I’ve resisted a long time.
Just some scratching is all.
I’ve drawn a little blood this time. Just a little.
It was disappointing.
There was no pain while I was doing it.
There was only stinging afterward.
That sucks because I really wanted the pain.
I guess to punish myself for fucking up yet another friendship.
He hasn’t ditched me yet, but he will.
The kind of guy he is, I expect the gentle brush off.
I’ll hear from him less and less until it comes to never.
He hasn’t initiated contact since I had a break down last Saturday, though he hasn’t yet completely ignored mine.
I had the breakdown because I felt guilty.
Why I felt guilty I can’t admit to yet. Some would probably think it’s small, but to me it’s not.
I make a great first impression….then I allow people to see the ugly underneath.
No wonder I can’t keep anyone in my life.