A rant



I’ve resisted a long time.

Just some scratching is all.

I’ve drawn a little blood this time.  Just a little.

It was disappointing.

There was no pain while I was doing it.

There was only stinging afterward.

That sucks because I really wanted the pain.


I guess to punish myself for fucking up yet another friendship.

He hasn’t ditched me yet, but he will.

The kind of guy he is, I expect the gentle brush off.

I’ll hear from him less and less until it comes to never.

He hasn’t initiated contact since I had a break down last Saturday, though he hasn’t yet completely ignored mine.

I had the breakdown because I felt guilty.

Why I felt guilty I can’t admit to yet.  Some would probably think it’s small, but to me it’s not.

I make a great first impression….then I allow people to see the ugly underneath.

No wonder I can’t keep anyone in my life.



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