A rant / A reflection


I recently closed down my Facebook account.  Weird, isn’t it?  The illusion of having friends was making me crazy.  I need friends, but I need them to be real.

I call it an illusion ofimages friends because that’s what it was.  That’s what it is.  I would vent on Facebook when I was in a bad way.  It was really my only way of reaching out, because actually reaching out is something I just can’t do.  I used to get words of encouragement sometimes, but now I get nothing.  And that hurts as much as words that don’t encourage me.  So I shut it down.

What I need from people was for them to call me or, even better, come and see me.  A lot of the time a regular conversation will do wonders for me.  Just a regular, average Joe type conversation with another adult.  I don’t think it’s a lot to ask, but it seems like I am not worth it to any of my Facebook “friends”.

I can’t deal with illusions of friends anymore.

And I’m afraid to try to make real friends.

So, what do I do?

I’m trying to figure that out.



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