I recently closed down my Facebook account. Weird, isn’t it? The illusion of having friends was making me crazy. I need friends, but I need them to be real.
I call it an illusion of friends because that’s what it was. That’s what it is. I would vent on Facebook when I was in a bad way. It was really my only way of reaching out, because actually reaching out is something I just can’t do. I used to get words of encouragement sometimes, but now I get nothing. And that hurts as much as words that don’t encourage me. So I shut it down.
What I need from people was for them to call me or, even better, come and see me. A lot of the time a regular conversation will do wonders for me. Just a regular, average Joe type conversation with another adult. I don’t think it’s a lot to ask, but it seems like I am not worth it to any of my Facebook “friends”.
I can’t deal with illusions of friends anymore.
And I’m afraid to try to make real friends.
So, what do I do?
I’m trying to figure that out.