A rant / A reflection

rethinking

I wrote a suicide note tonight. There aren’t words that exist to tell my kids how much I love them and how sorry I am for killing myself….So I can’t do it.  I can’t kill myself. Well, that’s partly the reason. My son came home.  I was watching a movie where a man picked up … Continue reading

A rant

Why

I’ve been having troubles, the last few days, with being very pissed off at my ex husband. When I married him, I really had no intention of being back here, where I am again.  Alone. Why couldn’t he have just tried harder? I was so sick at the end of our marriage that I couldn’t … Continue reading

A rant / A reflection / My life

43

I turned 43 three days ago.  I always post on my birthday.  So here goes…   Basically, same shit, different year. Feeling like I have no use in this world. Can’t find a man who doesn’t ignore text messages or phone calls, and if he’s busy he can’t be bothered to just tell me that. … Continue reading

A rant

So Broken

I had come so far. It took me 3 years to get there. And all it took was one man and I fell spectacularly into a million pieces. He was phenomenal with his words.  I always believed the things he said.  Something I don’t usually do.  I don’t believe a person’s words.  I wait for … Continue reading

A rant / My life

Cycles

When I crash and burn I tend to follow it with stupid behavior. I cut myself,  lie in despair on the couch.  Go on dating sites to find random men to fuck so I can feel some affection and prove myself to be trash at the same time. What I really need I’m not going … Continue reading