A rant / A reflection

rethinking

I wrote a suicide note tonight. There aren’t words that exist to tell my kids how much I love them and how sorry I am for killing myself….So I can’t do it.  I can’t kill myself. Well, that’s partly the reason. My son came home.  I was watching a movie where a man picked up … Continue reading

A rant / A reflection / My life

43

I turned 43 three days ago.  I always post on my birthday.  So here goes…   Basically, same shit, different year. Feeling like I have no use in this world. Can’t find a man who doesn’t ignore text messages or phone calls, and if he’s busy he can’t be bothered to just tell me that. … Continue reading

A reflection

Me

Valentine’s Day.  It usually depresses me because I’m usually alone.  Interesting that it’s different this year, especially considering that I, just a few days ago, screwed up another friendship. Maybe it’s because I’m finally getting it.  I have to learn to be alone.  I felt free after I got over the initial embarrassment of what … Continue reading

A reflection

What now?

I’ve been reading the Borderline Personality Survival Guide.  I’m at the part about therapy and meds.  It mentioned questions one would be asked in an assessment.  One of the questions is one that has been really bugging me. “Are you unsure of who you are or what you really like?” Holy crap!  That is so … Continue reading