A rant

Why

I’ve been having troubles, the last few days, with being very pissed off at my ex husband. When I married him, I really had no intention of being back here, where I am again.  Alone. Why couldn’t he have just tried harder? I was so sick at the end of our marriage that I couldn’t … Continue reading

Uncategorized

Being There

I didn’t try to kill myself the other day.  I cut myself but I did it to stop myself from killing myself.  That probably doesn’t make any sense but I don’t have the energy to explain right now. I want someone to be there for me.  But people don’t understand what I mean by that. … Continue reading

A rant

So Broken

I had come so far. It took me 3 years to get there. And all it took was one man and I fell spectacularly into a million pieces. He was phenomenal with his words.  I always believed the things he said.  Something I don’t usually do.  I don’t believe a person’s words.  I wait for … Continue reading

A rant / My life

Cycles

When I crash and burn I tend to follow it with stupid behavior. I cut myself,  lie in despair on the couch.  Go on dating sites to find random men to fuck so I can feel some affection and prove myself to be trash at the same time. What I really need I’m not going … Continue reading

A rant / My life

crashing

why can’t anyone understand i can’t believe your words i have to see actions if i push you away it’s because you hurt me but i need you to pursue me back to you and no i won’t make it easy if you don’t get started on it right away; waiting solidifies wet cement to … Continue reading

A rant / A reflection

Starving

I think I know what the real deal is with a borderline….or at least I know what the deal is with this borderline… Love. We want to be loved.  And we don’t just want it.  We are starving for it; yearning for it; begging and pleading for it. We are starving for it in a … Continue reading

A rant

no point

I realize today that I’m asking people to embark upon a battle they have no hope of winning. I don’t want people to care about me. Because I know how little I’m worth and don’t want them to waste their time. I’m not going to believe them anyway. So there’s really no point. Continue reading