A reflection

Me

Valentine’s Day.  It usually depresses me because I’m usually alone.  Interesting that it’s different this year, especially considering that I, just a few days ago, screwed up another friendship. Maybe it’s because I’m finally getting it.  I have to learn to be alone.  I felt free after I got over the initial embarrassment of what … Continue reading

A reflection

Caring

People don’t understand what it means when I say I want someone to care about me. Don’t wish me happy birthday just because Facebook reminded you to. Don’t post words of encouragement when I post despair just to have that be the only communication that ever happens. Be in my life. Talk to me face to … Continue reading

A reflection / My life

Fears

Haven’t been posting much on this blog lately, and that’s primarily because I have been, for the most part, doing pretty well.  Usually when I post something, it’s because something happened and I had to explain the way I was feeling at the moment or what I needed from someone involved. Things have changed over … Continue reading

A rant

Cut

  I’ve resisted a long time. Just some scratching is all. I’ve drawn a little blood this time.  Just a little. It was disappointing. There was no pain while I was doing it. There was only stinging afterward. That sucks because I really wanted the pain. Why? I guess to punish myself for fucking up yet … Continue reading

A rant

no point

I realize today that I’m asking people to embark upon a battle they have no hope of winning. I don’t want people to care about me. Because I know how little I’m worth and don’t want them to waste their time. I’m not going to believe them anyway. So there’s really no point. Continue reading