A rant / A reflection / My life

43

I turned 43 three days ago.  I always post on my birthday.  So here goes…   Basically, same shit, different year. Feeling like I have no use in this world. Can’t find a man who doesn’t ignore text messages or phone calls, and if he’s busy he can’t be bothered to just tell me that. … Continue reading

A reflection

Me

Valentine’s Day.  It usually depresses me because I’m usually alone.  Interesting that it’s different this year, especially considering that I, just a few days ago, screwed up another friendship. Maybe it’s because I’m finally getting it.  I have to learn to be alone.  I felt free after I got over the initial embarrassment of what … Continue reading

A reflection

Caring

People don’t understand what it means when I say I want someone to care about me. Don’t wish me happy birthday just because Facebook reminded you to. Don’t post words of encouragement when I post despair just to have that be the only communication that ever happens. Be in my life. Talk to me face to … Continue reading

A reflection / My life

Fears

Haven’t been posting much on this blog lately, and that’s primarily because I have been, for the most part, doing pretty well.  Usually when I post something, it’s because something happened and I had to explain the way I was feeling at the moment or what I needed from someone involved. Things have changed over … Continue reading

A rant

Accepting the facts

I need to accept the facts.  All of the facts. I will never be good enough or worthy of love. I could never please my parents.  My grades were never good enough no matter how hard I tried.  Those C’s should have been A’s.  Those B’s should have been A’s.  Those A’s should have been … Continue reading

A reflection

Better

It’s amazing what can help me. I was in a bad state in my last post a couple of days ago.  I thought I had ruined a friendship. But this friend did what I’ve always needed anyone who calls themselves my friend to do. He clearly explained what he wanted and needed and how he … Continue reading