A reflection

What now?

I’ve been reading the Borderline Personality Survival Guide.  I’m at the part about therapy and meds.  It mentioned questions one would be asked in an assessment.  One of the questions is one that has been really bugging me. “Are you unsure of who you are or what you really like?” Holy crap!  That is so … Continue reading

Uncategorized

Being There

I didn’t try to kill myself the other day.  I cut myself but I did it to stop myself from killing myself.  That probably doesn’t make any sense but I don’t have the energy to explain right now. I want someone to be there for me.  But people don’t understand what I mean by that. … Continue reading

A reflection / My life

Fears

Haven’t been posting much on this blog lately, and that’s primarily because I have been, for the most part, doing pretty well.  Usually when I post something, it’s because something happened and I had to explain the way I was feeling at the moment or what I needed from someone involved. Things have changed over … Continue reading

A rant / My life

Cycles

When I crash and burn I tend to follow it with stupid behavior. I cut myself,  lie in despair on the couch.  Go on dating sites to find random men to fuck so I can feel some affection and prove myself to be trash at the same time. What I really need I’m not going … Continue reading

A rant

Accepting the facts

I need to accept the facts.  All of the facts. I will never be good enough or worthy of love. I could never please my parents.  My grades were never good enough no matter how hard I tried.  Those C’s should have been A’s.  Those B’s should have been A’s.  Those A’s should have been … Continue reading