A rant / My life

Cycles

When I crash and burn I tend to follow it with stupid behavior. I cut myself,  lie in despair on the couch.  Go on dating sites to find random men to fuck so I can feel some affection and prove myself to be trash at the same time. What I really need I’m not going … Continue reading

A rant

Cut

  I’ve resisted a long time. Just some scratching is all. I’ve drawn a little blood this time.  Just a little. It was disappointing. There was no pain while I was doing it. There was only stinging afterward. That sucks because I really wanted the pain. Why? I guess to punish myself for fucking up yet … Continue reading

A reflection

Starting again, again

Haven’t written recently. Haven’t had much to rant, rave or reflect about recently. Despite a great deal of stress happening, especially over the last month, I’ve been rolling with the punches fairly well. But I’ve been ignoring a lot of truths and I’ve decided, though I’ve never been one to make resolutions, to start paying … Continue reading

A rant / My life

crashing

why can’t anyone understand i can’t believe your words i have to see actions if i push you away it’s because you hurt me but i need you to pursue me back to you and no i won’t make it easy if you don’t get started on it right away; waiting solidifies wet cement to … Continue reading

A rant

no point

I realize today that I’m asking people to embark upon a battle they have no hope of winning. I don’t want people to care about me. Because I know how little I’m worth and don’t want them to waste their time. I’m not going to believe them anyway. So there’s really no point. Continue reading

A rant

S T R E S S E D

I’m so stressed out.  And I can’t even say why. I want to get a baseball bat and smash things. I want to get plastered and laid by some random guy. I’d call the mental health line but they’re so useless. They get back to you…eventually.  What good is that?  They don’t really care. I … Continue reading